


The Safest Choice

by AwokenMonster



Series: Gifts [4]
Category: Hollywood Undead (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Cheesy Lovesong, Fluff, Friendzone, Johnny's A Good Friend, Johnny's Writersblock, M/M, Sad Danny, poor Johnny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 02:26:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10844580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwokenMonster/pseuds/AwokenMonster
Summary: Danny cocked his head. “Have you ever felt this hurt before?”“I have. On multiple occasions; not knowing what to do with myself because I was stuck at the decision to wait and see if time would spontaneously turn back for me to fix it all.”





	The Safest Choice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Airiamurillo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Airiamurillo/gifts).



> Monster: Written for someone who deserved a gift way earlier but I was a lazy fuck, sorry. Enjoy!

There’s always been something about hugs. Something special and something really intimate, yet not sexual. It wasn’t exclusively for lovers but for friends as well. I never really enjoyed hugging my friends that much, it was mainly just arms wrapped around their shoulder and one hooked underneath their arm, a pat on the back and it’s done, over.

Though the best hugs weren’t like that. The best of them were with a smaller person who’d wrap their arms all around your waist and you’d get to put your arms around their shoulders, just dragging them flush against your body and feeling the closeness of two bodies trying to become one. It was almost as good as sex.

Almost.

I grinned to myself as thought struck me, pen tapping impatiently against my lips. What was I trying to write again? Oh right, I had to come up with fitting lines for that part of the song. It was a lovely song, a bit of a backstabber to those who didn’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend but it was a nice lovesong to me. Not that I had a partner but I could appreciate true love, even while single.

The skeleton of the song was brought forward by Danny who seemed awfully shy about it as he had slowly offered some of his lyrics and ideas for a melody. In the end, it was a great idea and for once, we were happy about having a love-struck couple aboard.

Of course, Danny only brought lyrics for a song all about love forward after getting a few words of reassurance from his boyfriend. I didn’t think he would’ve had the guts to do it all by himself. The reassuring boyfriend being Charlie Scene of course. My best friend was the one who comforted Danny whenever he felt left out, too new or just too shy to say something. He was such a living contradictory sometimes. One day he’d be all shy and melting girls’ hearts and the next he’d be drinking with us and trying to drink me underneath the table. Though I was a heavy drinker so he’d always end up shitfaced on the floor.

Adorable guy, I thought to myself as the pen never even left my lip. The lyrics weren’t flowing today, yet my thoughts were on a roll. I finally moved the pen when the doorbell rang. I wasn’t expecting anyone so it struck me as an odd thing for someone to be standing at my doorstep. When I opened it, I saw the face of Danny, the subject of my thoughts.

“Danny! I didn’t know you were coming by.”

“I just felt like it”, the singer responded. “Went through the entire list of people in my head and you just seemed like the safest choice.”

“The safest choice?” I muttered as he passed me by in the hallway towards the living room. He quit walking when he saw a sheet of paper on my table. “Were you writing a song?”

“I was writing my lyrics to the new song you came up with”, I said and Danny seemed to turn bitter at my words, suddenly cold as he turned to me. “The song’s not happening. I’m not doing it. The idea’s in the trash”, he harshly stated as he stared at the ideas I scribbled down on the sheet. He scoffed and put it down against, mindlessly twirling the pen in between his fingers.

“What? Why?”

He stopped twirling the pen to look up at me. “He hasn’t said anything yet?”

“Who? About what?”

Danny put the pen down again. “Charlie broke up with me.”

“What? Why?” I responded and Danny shrugged. “I don’t know. He just did.”

The singer looked down at the floor, arms tightly wrapped around himself as if he was trying to protect himself from my judging gaze but I wasn’t going to judge him over a break up with my best friend.

I spread my arms. “Come here.”

He looked up at me, hesitant but stepping closer to lean his head against my chest, arms still wrapped around himself stubbornly as I hugged him. “I’m sure it’s not your fault.”

“Don’t say that.”

“What?”

“I feel guilty. It’s my fault we weren’t doing fine. I messed up.”

I sighed. “I’m sure you didn’t. I can’t imagine what you would’ve done wrong.”

“I was clingy when we’d tour but whenever we were alone, I’d push him away. I don’t know and I don’t really wanna talk about it. At least, I don’t know how to talk about it but I guess I was having some issues with my body? Or trusting him? I don’t know, I’m telling you”, Danny murmured into my shoulder.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m scared of bottoming, Johnny”, Danny muttered. “I feel stupid for saying this because surely, Charlie would know what to do and how to be gentle and prepare me but at the same time, I don’t wanna give up control over my body. It’s not like we didn’t… do things like that yet but it’s just different. I can’t explain it but it creeps me out and I tried to avoid being alone with him to make sure he wouldn’t bring it up or try it but in the end, I only pushed him away. I wasn’t solving anything.”

“What did he say? I mean, did he just tell you he wanted to break up?” I asked, still confused whether this was on Charlie or if Danny’s been a bad boyfriend. The singer shrugged. “He asked me if he could come over and then he told me I wasn’t gonna like whatever he had to say. Then he just said he didn’t want to be with me anymore. I don’t even know if that means I’ve been a bad boyfriend or if he just doesn’t love me anymore. I think I’ve just been a bad boyfriend.”

I rubbed his back softly. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Just tell me he can eat a dick and die”, Danny said and I chuckled but when he glared at me, I turned serious. “You hate him now?”

“No, I love him so much”, Danny moaned annoyed. “And this is getting uncomfortable. Sit on the couch, please.”

I sat down, patting the seat next to me before he sat down and leaned against me, my arm trapped. “I don’t know what to do. I’m gonna see him 24/7 now, while it’s over.”

“You knew from the start it was a possibility. Just because it’s over, doesn’t mean you have to hate him. I know it hurts and I know you still love him but right now, you need to realize you can’t be friends with him right now. It wouldn’t work and you’d just end up fighting and breaking your friendship. You guys should leave each other alone and move on by yourself. When you’re able to stand and say “I’m over it”, you can try and be friends with him.”

“Easy for you to say. You don’t know what it’s like to love someone who’s not into you.”

“You don’t know that”, I shot back at him and Danny looked up at me, eyes curious but now wasn’t the time to tell that story. It was too long and too painful. Even worse; still going on but I didn’t want to share a surprise with him that could turn his world upside down. For now, I wanted him to heal and to know I’d be there for him whenever he needed it.

“I’m not telling you that story”, I said when he was still looking at me and he rolled his eyes. “Fine. Maybe you know my pain but I still have so many questions. I never asked him why! I just nodded and he left.”

I took out my phone, sending Charlie a quick text when Danny glanced at my phone. “Are you seriously texting him right now?!”

“I am. You want answers, I’ll give you answers”, I said and the singer pouted. “Don’t make it obvious, alright? I don’t want him to think I’m needy.”

“Danny, you guys broke up”, I said and the singer gave me an angry stare. He pulled my right arm over his head so he could sink into my side as I had my arm around his smaller body. “What? I want some comfort.”

“I didn’t say anything!” I called out but Danny squinted his eyes. “You were going to.”

“No, really, I don’t fucking care if you need a hug or a cuddle. You’re allowed to ask for all of it to anyone except to Charlie because he’s not good for you right now.”

“I don’t want what’s good for me. I want him”, Danny venomously said and I was tempted to retract my arm until he’d show better behaviour but then I remembered he was just a sad, heartbroken man and I decided against it.

Charlie actually replied a few times by then.

_Me: Dude, did you guys break up?_

_Charlie: Yeah, this afternoon, why? What do you care?_

_Me: Salty much? Just asking. Why’d you break up?_

_Charlie: Just wasn’t working out for me. Sorry, yeah, I just feel like crap and I don’t feel like talking about it that much… Maybe I do, I don’t know. Shit just hurts. Call me?_

“Oh crap, he’s asking me to call him”, I said and Danny shrugged. “Call him. I don’t mind. I’ll be quiet for your sake. Put him on speaker?”

“I don’t know, that feels like betraying my best friend.”

“Pleaaase?” Danny asked, batting his eyelashes and I sighed. “Fuck you and your adorableness.”

Danny chuckled, first time he actually laughed since he got here. I called Charlie up and put him on speaker, hoping he wouldn’t notice Danny’s presence if the younger one were to make a small sound.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Johnny”, he replied, sounding worn out.

“How are you doing?”

“Shitty. It’s not because I ended it, that I won’t feel bad, you know?”

“Yeah. But I don’t get it? Why’d you break up? Don’t you love him?”

“Of course, I fucking love him, Johnny but I can’t picture a future with him right now. We’ve been going awry for a pretty long time and he knows it too but Danny’s got way more energy left than I do. I’ve tried to fix us for a while now but he just won’t talk to me about the shit bothering him. It’s always ‘I’m just tired’ or ‘I don’t wanna talk about it’. What am I supposed to make of that? I’m just out of energy to try and start again. I’m done.”

I looked at Danny who hid his face in my side, trying not to make a sound as he was shaking, probably sobbing into my shirt as he had to hear his ex-boyfriend talk about how terrible he was as a boyfriend. It must be hard on him.

“But you still love him? Won’t you get back together with him after a while then?”

“I just don’t see us working out anymore. I’m not changing my mind. I’m done with him. He didn’t even react when I broke up with him.”

“Maybe he was shocked?”

“I don’t really care. I wish him the best of luck but it’s over”, Charlie said and as soon as he had spoken the words, Danny walked out of the room, into my hallway. I wanted to run after him but I was on the phone so I couldn’t.

“I gotta go, dude. I was making dinner and it’s not easy trying to cook while calling”, I lied. “Too bad you guys didn’t work out.”

“Yeah, talk to you later”, Charlie said before hanging up. I slipped it into my pocket before making my way over to the hallway. The door was closed but I didn’t feel like Danny ran out of my house. If he didn’t want my presence, he wouldn’t have come to me in the first place.

I was the safest choice for him.

The words slowly sunk into me. Funny Man wasn’t serious enough to talk about this crap, Da Kurlzz was Charlie’s ex-boyfriend and would only chase Danny away. J-Dog wasn’t very keen on the relationships developing aboard the bus. I really was the safest choice. He saw no threat in trusting me.

How pathetic to trust someone like me.

I shook the thought off as I walked upstairs. “Danny?”

No reply but I didn’t really expect him to talk to me anyway. In the end, I found him sitting in the corner of my own bedroom, trying to sink into the darkness of the walls surrounding him. It was getting pretty dark outside. “Danny…”

“I knew it. I was a terrible boyfriend and I should’ve talked to him but now it’s too late. I can’t get him back. I can’t undo anything. I don’t even wanna talk about it anymore.”

I sat down next to him, knees drawn up loosely and resting my elbows on them. “So what do you want to do?”

“I don’t want to do anything. I just want him back.”

“But you can’t have him back”, I said. He leaned his head against my shoulder. “I know. I’m sorry to be such a wreckage.”

“It’s fine. You’re not that bad”, I chuckled and he inhaled deeply. “You should be happy you don’t feel the pain of a break up like this, Johnny.”

“I am but I still feel bad for you”, I replied.

Danny cocked his head. “Have you ever felt this hurt before?”

“I have. On multiple occasions; not knowing what to do with myself because I was stuck at the decision to wait and see if time would spontaneously turn back for me to fix it all.”

“How’d you fix it?”

“I didn’t. I learned to live with it”, I said and I offered him a smile. He smiled back at me and closed his eyes for a moment, sighing in peace. “Can I stay for the night? I don’t feel like going home and be alone.”

“You can”, I replied. “Guest bedroom though.”

“Don’t be such a prude, I won’t jump you in your sleep!”

I shrugged. “Not you I’m afraid of.”

 _It’s hard not to take advantage of a weak soul practically offering himself._ I closed my eyes and let out heavy sigh. “You wanna watch a movie?”

“Which movie?” Danny suspiciously reacted, holding on to my arm like it was his new lifeline.

“A cheesy rom-com”, I sarcastically replied, watching his eyes go wide before laughing. “Fuck no, Danny, I won’t make you sit through that kind of crap. Let’s watch some stupid sci-fi movie. With lasers, robots, dinosaurs and what not!”

“Jurassic World?”

“Does that movie have robots in it?”

“Not sure? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it.”

I got up and offered him a hand. “Then let’s watch Jurassic World!”

He smiled and pulled himself up. “I bet for 10 bucks there will be robots in it.”

“That’s unfair. You’ve already seen the movie. You might as well play dumb and pretend you can’t remember if there were any in it.”

“I’m allowed to be unreasonable”, Danny chuckled. “You better have some crisps in the cupboard, Johnny. I can’t watch a movie without a snack and a drink.”

“Make yourself at home”, I sarcastically remarked when he opened the cupboard to find whatever he was looking for. He stuck out his tongue and continued to search for the crisps.

Maybe I couldn’t talk about it all with Danny yet but I sure made him smile and laugh again for now. Maybe it wasn’t enough but it was good enough for now. I’d take care of him and I wouldn’t let anyone hurt him again.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment, they're our heavy fuel


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